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The infinite quest for romantic love

I write this blog today while I am still ‘under the influence’ of Marianne Williamson’s London talk on relationships.

So much can be said about romantic interactions; two main ideas though, really resonated with me.

One, there is a general perception that we are always on the quest for the perfect relationship, searching for happiness in someone else. We often believe that there is a person out there in the universe who will give us joy, confidence, pleasure. Someone who complements us, without whom, we feel incomplete and we cannot truly enjoy our life.

In reality all we need is already in us. We don’t need another person, another situation, another item in our existence to make us content. Our divine self is a sacred being that can accommodate all of our requirements if we allow for our heavenly creativity and expression to simply be who we are.

Love is already here. We are love. We just don’t recognize it. Rumi said “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Think about this quote for a short moment, how does it make you feel.

Following up on this reflection, the other idea about romantic connections that stayed with me is the realization that relationships are laboratory for the souls to experiment, discover deeper levels of one selves and ultimately grow from each experience.

Constantly looking for love does not only apply to single people; even when we are in a relationship, sometimes a little voice in our head tells us to search for someone ‘better’, someone who will give more to us, someone who will make us happier. Aren’t we all guilty of ending a love story because we thought that our partner wasn’t good enough for us, to then realize that we were the one not giving enough into the relationship. The voice in the background urging us to move on from where we are for the quest of someone better is the voice of our ego.

If we resonate with the fact that we do not need someone else to complement us, if we consciously choose to share our life with someone else while keeping our independence, the best we can do is to focus on what we can give to the relationship rather that looking for what we can take from it. Are we ready to whole-heartedly be present, be grateful, be truthful to another human being. Are we ready to show ourselves naked, are we ready to show our ugliness when things get tough, are we ready to comfort our companion, face every challenges, and steady the boat when the waters get rough.

As only then, we freely allow the incredible experience of love to let our souls learn a new lesson while progressing into our spiritual life.

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